aka Ricia shouldn't write when she's sleep deprived. I don't own Digimon...duh. This fic contains yaoi and yuri...why? Cause I like it. Oh and I've chucked some het in there too! Wow! ***** Once upon a time, in the land of Digimon there was a girl named Yamato Yamato: Hey I'm not a girl! Oh...sorry...it's the pink apron. You should take it off. In fact after you take that off just keep going! Yamato: *sweatdrops* Um...Taichi, the author is scaring me. Taichi: But she has such good ideas...here let me help you! Yeah! Strip Ishida! Oooh...that reminds me. Back in the happy land of Digimon, Mr. Ishida was heading home from work when he suddenly felt the urge to be with a twenty something brown haired woman. Hey! I'm a twenty something browned haired woman! What a coincidence! Mr Ishida: What am I doing here? Making all my dreams come true. Mr Ishida: And what are my son and his friend doing?? Making all their dreams come true. Mr Ishida: What do I do now? Just stand there. I have to get back to the story! Yamato: *half naked and attached to Taichi* What story? Shut up or I won't let you play with Taichi anymore! Mr Ishida: Hey! He's my son and I'll decide whether or not he can play with Taichi and...I can't believe I said that. Anyway! Once upon a time in the land of Digimon a boy named Yamato was pining away for some cheesecake. Yamato: For some what?? Taichi: Less questioning, more making out! I agree. Yamato really wanted some cheesecake and some biscuits. Ooh yeah bisuits with butter and some of those microwave brownie things! Mr Ishida: You're hungry aren't you? Is that a come-on? Cause it's working! Mr Ishida: Uh.... Then Yamato thought to himself 'Who'd have brownies?' Well we all know who has brownies right? Koushiro: Where am I? You're in my universe Pineapple Boy. We need your brownies. Koushiro: Uh...only Mimi and Jyou can have my brownies! And Miyako if she's good. Ooh my favorite set of mix and match people! Let's bring them here shall we? Mimi and Jyou were having one of their many many many suck face sessions when suddenly they heard the sound of a chainsaw. It was Miyako carving a new door for Mimi...wasn't that nice of her? Mimi: My room! Miyako: ???? Jyou: Um...hi. Koushiro: What were you doing with Mimi? I thought you loved me?? Jyou: Oh like you've never been with Mimi. Miyako: I dont' like when the boys fight Mimi, hold me! Mimi: Put the chainsaw down first. Back in DigiLand Sora and Hikari were watching 'The Nightly Business Report' and contemplating suicide. Instead they came here. Sora: Who the hell are you? I'm the author and I want you to go with Mimi and shag like bunnies. Sora: What if I don't like Mimi? Mimi: You don't like me? You can always go with Miyako...or hell Hikari I don't care. Sora: Of course I like you! What if I don't like girls? Jyou seems willing to sleep with just about anyone. Jyou: What? Am not! Oh please! I've seen Jyou/Taichi, Jyou/Yamato, Jyou/Sora, Jyou/Mimi, Jyou/Miyako, Jyou/Koushiro etc etc etc. You are a popular one aren't you? Our own little Digi-slut. Ooh that reminds again! Suddenly back in that place I don't own Ken Ichijouji was trying to figure out how'd he'd gotten this tangled up in his sheets and how Daisuke ended up upside down with peanut butter smeared all over his body. 'Oh well,' Ken thought 'May as well clean him up', and with that Ken proceeded to... Ken: Hey! It's none of your business what I do with Daisuke! Daisuke: Now I'm all sticky! We'll leave you all to misinterpret that. Moving on...*breaks down and glomps Ken* Daisuke: Hey! That's my yummy purple haired bishounen! Get your own! But he's so cute! Ken:*blushes* Thank you. Daisuke: Uh...uh...look Mr Ishida is looking hot and sexy! *drops Ken* Oooh where? Mmmmmm....uh story right. There was a story wasn't there? Yamato: Cheesecake and brownies. Oh right! Still on his quest for biscuits with some butter, Yamato Ishida came to the house of his friend Iori. Yamato: We've barely met! But I'll bet he has some biscuits and we need to bring him here anyway! Hikari: *busy with Miyako* What about Takeru? Miyako: Who's cares about Takeru? I'm getting to Takeru! Hold on. Yamato goes into Iori's kitchen to get some biscuits. He suddenly notices his little brother tied up...naked...grinning...mumbling inappropriate things to do with kendo sticks. Mr. Ishida: Oh my God! I don't want to know this. Takeru: Could somebody untie me and give me back my clothes? Why would we want to do that? Iori do we do that? Iori: You're one of those crazy ladies who blame everything on me, aren't you? Yup. Good eye kid. But I'm giving you naked tied up Takeru anyway just cause I'm so nice. If you're really good I'll throw in naked tied up Miyako too! Miyako: What? No! I don't wanna be tied up. I have a chainsaw! Yes you do. Okay...is everyone here? Roll call! Taichi! Taichi: Busy...go away. Yamato! Yamato: Mmmmmhhmmmm....oh yeah right there. Uh...Sora! Sora: Can you please get Mimi to stop leering at me? No. Mimi! Mimi: You will be mine. Sooner or later they are all mine! Right...Koushiro...uh Koushiro? Koushiro stop that at once! Hikari doesn't bend that way! Koushiro: Prodigious! Jyou! Jyou: I feel so violated...Sora come over here and kiss it and make it better. Hikari! Hikari: Miyako...Koushiro...I don't bend that way! Perfect timing. Miyako! Miyako: Stop struggling! Takeru! Takeru: My clothes please? In your dreams. Iori! Iori: I burned your clothes. Daisuke! Daisuke:Oh my beautiful Ken, you are my jelly in life! Okay. Ken! Ken:And you are my peanut butter! Let's make a sandwich! Well everybody is here! Do you know what that means? *everybody, except Mr Ishida is too busy making out with various people to answer* It means..uh..ah who cares. *jumps Mr Ishida and gives herself a happy ending* The End. I'm so sorry...don't hurt me for this. I'll never do it again!