MSTing of Double Vision Part II

The Talespin cast enters the theater to witness Double Vision Part 2, 
by Phoebe Kersula.  They have momentarily relieved the MST3K crew, 
who are as we speak intrepidly trying to escape…

_Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid

>>Baloo:  Is that a Mel Gibson reference?

No song unsung
No wine untasted._  
        "Molly!  "  The clear voice of a youth no older than fifteen 
traveled over the water, and Molly ran to him, catching him in her 

>>Baloo:  This feels like a laundry detergent commercial.

Kit came slower, languidly, observing the two, 

>>Kit:  I couldnt find anything good on the radio...

obviously enamored of one another as they spoke in tounges that 
lovers know best.  

>>Rebecca: Oh, I dont even want to *go* there...

        He was loathe to break them apart, let them dream their 
dreams a little bit longer, but he knew he must.  He tapped Molly on 
the shoulder, for he knew that young boys paid no heed.  At least 
_he_ wouldn't have.  

>>Kit:  Uh...says you!  I mean me...I mean..Wait a minute!   I pay 
        attention!  Im doing it right now...
       "Kit...!  "  She actually blushed a crimson color!  Kit was 
amused, to say the least.  And not much tended to amuse him these 

>>Kit:  I repeat:  Im not that *interesting* in the future, am I?!

 Caught up in the moment, Molly blurted "This is Xavier.  Xavier, Kit 
Cloudkicker.  "  
        Xavier, slightly flustered, shook Kit's hand.  "K-Kit 
Cloudkicker?  "  He stammered.  Kit acknowledged the awe in the 
youth's tone, flattered.  "Pleased t' meet you!  " 

>>Kit:  Yeahyeahyeah...

 He looked at Molly with stars and perhaps a tiny sliver of reproach 
in his eyes.  "Molly never mentioned she knew _you_, Mr. Cloudkicker 
sir.  "

>>Kit:  (dismissively) This guy's a kisass!...

        "Yeah, well, it's not really important.  " 
        "Not important!  "  The spotted bear looked like he was 
choking.  "_Not important?!_   Why, you're a hero!  You came back--" 

>>Baloo:  (cheerfully) An emotional wreck!

 Xavier went on, unaware he'd made a faux pas.  _~Yeah, I came back.  
But not everyone did.  ~_  Kit thought, smile prominent, eyes full of 
the memory of war.  

>>Kit:  Im smiling and remembering war.  Oooookaaaaay....

        When Xavier came back to reality, Molly was gently tugging at 
his sleeve.  She turned to Kit.  "I'll see you later, "  she stated, 
and Xavier folowed her stupidly, worshipfully, not realizing the 
power the girl had over him.  
>>Becky:  Was it like that scene in the Little Mermaid?  Where he was 
          all whipped?
>>Baloo:  He was in a trance in that movie...
>>Becky:  Oh...right.

         Kit stood in the doorway of _Louie's_, feeling like a third 
wheel.  _~Man, you go to war and they change everything on you._  ~   
He didn't recognize half the pilots, and there were even a few female 
pilots lounging around. 

>>Baloo:  Rrrrrow.

 One he recognized as Ernie Vandersnoot's former *WASP girlfriend, 

>>Kit:  Was she like a giant wasp? or, oh, never mind...

 She did not return his gaze, just continued staring vacantly across 
the room until a burly tiger, handsome in a rough-and-tough way, sat 
down next to her.  But she did not smile.   

>>Becky:  Who does after eating there?

         "Li'l Britches, you made it!  "  Baloo bellowed from across 
the room, the large gray bear lumbering over to greet his

>>Baloo:  Lumbering?  What do you mean "lumbering"?
>>Becky and Kit look in opposite directions to avoid eye contact with 

surrogate son and former navigator, obvious pride shining in his 
eyes.  "Louie!  A special drink for the hero of Cape Suzette here!"  
         "Krakatoa Special comin' right up, cuz!  "  The orangutan 
propetier sang from behind the counter, 

>>Becky:  He sang that?

hands and feet flying to mix and match quickly, lighting the 
sparklers with finesse, everything as usual.  _~Well, at least some 
things never change.  ~ 

>>Becky:  Louies is an unsanitary mess....So is Louies....Nothing new 
here...(Baloo looks at her with slight annoyance)  
>>Becky:  I mean come on!  He's handling food with his feet!

"What's that, Kit my man?  "
         Kit jumped slightly, not having realized he'd thought aloud. 

>>Kit:  Nothing.. Not having a nervous breakdown or anything, heh 
heh...Nothing to worry about here...

 Can I have that 'Special now?  " 
         "It's all yours.  "  Louie handed him the sparking coconut 
half-shell cup, and before Kit could dig in, Baloo clapped him on the 
shoulder and announced:  

>>Baloo:  I *am* the lizard king!
>>Kit:  Im changing my name to John Goodman!
>>Becky:  I quit since I just I just found a treasure Im likely to 
          squander in two days!
        "Three cheers for our hero!  "  
       "Hear, hear!  "  Someone called, and Kit, with a sickening 
feeling in the pit of his stomach, recognized it as Xavier.  
         "Please, Papa Bear.  I'm not a hero.  "  Kit insisted, but 
to no avail.  Coconut ha' shells were

>>Kit:  Whats a ha'?

 lifted into the air, and a hearty cheer went up.  "No!  I'm not a 
hero!  "  Kit's protests were lost in the din.  Baloo slammed his own 
shell into Kit's, the contents of his own Krakatoa Special sloshing 
over the sides, must like his errant enthusiasm.
       Only Louie heard the young man's protests, and he yelled for 
quiet, but the crowd was beyond listening, too wrapped up in their 
own patriotism to notice, each coming forth to shake Kit's paw 
heartily and with gusto.  _Hero...hero...hero..._  the word spun in 
Kit's mind dizzily.  Somehow, he was on someone's shoulders, and they 
carried him around the club, cheering and tossing him

>>Kit:  This  feels like a scene from "Newsies"...

into the air.  Then he was back to his former spot, where they all 
regarded him from expectant eyes.  "I'm not a hero.  "  Kit said, and 
slammed his Krakatoa Special down onto the counter, where obnoxious 
cracks erupted down the sides.  "I'm not a hero!  "
        "Whatsa matter, Li'l Britches?  "   Baloo asked in a low 
voice,  To the crowd he said:  "He's just bein' modest.  Aren't you, 
Kit?  "
        "I'm not thirsty anymore.  "  Kit stated in a flat voice, 
exiting curtly, without regarded for the whispers that followed him 
out, nor the sudden hurt in Baloo's eyes.  The cup rolled over on 
it's side, and 'Special began to ooze out.

>>Baloo:  Is this where Oprah comes out?
>>Kit:  No, this is where a peacock symbol pops up with the words 
        "The more you know"..
>>Becky:  (chimes) Ba-bum-bum...
         _May, 1944_

>>All:  Oh great...another flashback..
        The girl regarded him from cool gray eyes, hefting up the 
enemy's gun with a resolution in her orbs, and, toeing the rapidly 
cooling bodies, spoke rapidly in Jerrmian. 

>>Kit:  Germian...German...Oh, I see.  Its a pun thing, aheh-heh...

 Kit shook his head, to indicate that he did not understand, but also 
because he could not stand to hear the language of the enemy coming 
from his self-appointed ally.  She bit her lip in consternation, and 
reverted back to the stilted English from before.  "Ve steal clothes. 
They are not needing anymore, _nein?_  "  It was then that he noticed 
that her dress was dark with blood, grime, and...something else.  It 
was a ragged dress, surely not meant for traveling, 

>>Kit:  Okay, lets just review.  If a dress is covered in blood, then 
        yeah it *probably* isnt fit for traipsing around the 

nor were her shoes.  Perhaps she had escaped from a mental hospital, 
that was why her clothing was numbered, right?  ...Right.  

>>Baloo:  Maybe shes a marathon runner..
>>Becky:  Oh yes.  Thats it...

        Kit stared at her in horror as she began to undress the 
smaller of the two.  Why, up close one could see he was but a boy!  
Younger than him, even!  He felt his stomach heave.  He could see the 
hole where the bullet had passed through the skull, black with blood. 
He dropped to his knees and vomited into the tall grass.  When he 
arose, the girl stood there, gun impassively in hand, running a hand 
through her black hair neatly, efficently. 

>>Kit, Baloo, and Rebecca all have their hands clasped over their 
  eyes, and at this point slowly remove them.  All nervously fidget 
  in their seats...

 She was taller than he had first thought, or maybe that was because 
the solider's boots had built-in heels.  No doubt, it was that.  Why, 
she wasn't more than a scant day over seventeen, if he was any judge! 
She smiled nervously at him as if searching for approval, and he 
noted that she had an endearing habit of nibbling her lower lip.  
"It'll be okay, "  Kit assured her.  "We'll make it.  "  

>>Kit: *speaking through a cough* Ifwedontgetkilled...

        "Vhere is Uslandians?  Ve go.  "  She informed him, pointing 
towards the abandoned jeep.  "You--escaped POW.  Me--guard.  "  

>>Baloo:  Me Tarzan.  You wacko.

_~You, escaped--but from where?_  ~  Kit thought, allowing her to 
nudge him with the gun, hoping her habits didn't include itching 
trigger fingers. 
        "I--I don't know...I was--_am_--a pilot, not a foot solider.  
I don't even know where we _are._  "  The girl rolled her eyes, but 
Kit continued. 

>>Kit:  Hey, guess what?  Im lost!
>>Becky: Well, you are in a warzone.
>>Kit:  No, I meant the storyline..

 "And you, who are _you?_  "  She stared at him quizzically.  
Apparently English wasn't her best language.  Well, no kidding.  Kit 
made the appropriate accompanying hand motions.  He tapped his chest. 
"Me, Kit Cloudkicker.  Pilot.  "  
        "Kiih--Keet--Kurrt--"  she tried, stumbling over 
>>Kit:  Okay, we went from Kit to Kurt.  *What* happened?...   

"No, _Kit._  Try it.  "  Kit instructed, shaping his name slowly with 
his lips.  
        "Kiht Cloudkiihcker.  Pilot.  "  She grinned at him, and 
pointed to herself.  "Heidi Nikoleckly.  Sch--_Swing_ kid.  
Schwingen-- Swing Heil!   "  Then she jabbed him again with the gun, 
and steered him towards the waiting jeep.  
        "Swing Heil, "  Kit repeated, as if he understood, but he did 

>>Baloo:  Uh, maybe she wants you to *drive*??
>>Kit:  Apparently Im not too BRIGHT in the future, either!        
>>Becky:  Were free!  Lets make a run for it!!!

All exit, and head for the lobby.


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