MSTing of The Pride and The Shame

>>Indiglo: I don't understand why the Masters want us to read this!

>>Chronos: There's something basic you need to learn about the
Masters, Indiglo.

>>Indiglo: Yeah...what?

>>Chronos: They're weird.

>>Thompson: So why am I Here?

>>Chronos: They thought this a family'll be reading the
story of how your      parents met in love.

>>Thompson: Ew.

>>Indiglo: How romantic.

>>Thompson: Double ew.

>>Indiglo: Grow up Thompson!

>>Chronos:'s starting.

The Pride and The Shame 

>>Thompson: Oh the shame of it all!
>>Indiglo: Thompson hush!

Disclaimer: Any Darkwing characters I mention belong to Disney. All 
other characters are so being mine, Ricia's

>>Indiglo: So...Mom belongs to herself and we all belong to Mom?

>>Thompson: Look's like it.

>>Indiglo: That's...kind of creepy.

 and so not being yours. 
Got it? Good. Let's move on.

Thanks to: Oh where to begin. 

>>Chronos: Don't begin. End. Please.

Aero for helping me create Ricia Fedora 
at The Old Haunt, 

>>Thompson: That makes her sound like an experiment!

John for listening to my ramblings about the watch 
and helping me sort out some stuff, Douglas Adams for inventing the 
term "Professor of Chronology", 

>>Chronos: Which the author cheerfully ripped off.

Renee and Chris for the whole Ricia 
image and The Viscount for the gift of the pocketwatch.

>>Chronos: Hey! I gave the Fedoras the pocketwatch!
>>Indiglo: Uh...Chronos, you need to understand...
>>Thompson: No, Indiglo.


"All the time in the world"
"All the time in the world"
"Mom?? Dad??"

>>All: I I love love double double chex chex better better then then
the the rest rest!

Ricia Fedora woke with a start. Her pounding heartbeat keeping steady 
time with the hundreds of clocks surrounding her. Clocks set to every 
time zone. 

>>Thompson: Why would she need the different time zones??

All moving forward steadily. Ricia slipped out of bed and 
walked quietly to the kitchen for some coffee. "Just a nightmare."

>>Indiglo:..on Elm Street.
She sank to the floor.

>>Chronos: Cause she apparently owned no chairs.
>>Thompson: With hundreds of clocks she probably didn't have room.

So long ago. It happened so long ago. She 
didn't want to remember. She closed her eyes and listened to the 
ticking. The beautiful ticking always soothed her nerves. The phone 
rang disturbing her meditation.

>>Indiglo: You know, if you really think about it, our house would've
been the perfect place to hide a bomb.


>>Chronos: Ajax Liquor Store.
>>Indiglo: Oh good...wave to the like two people who got that joke.

No, sir I realize what time it is,

>>Chronos: Well I certainly hope she knows what time it is!

I was....Yes I like my 
job very much...I...but...I'll be right down." 

>>Thompson: Yes sir I like my knees very much sir!

She hung up the phone 
and sighed. The Dean of Saint Canard University was a small man.

>>Indiglo: Well actually he's not a man, he's a duck...I think.
Small in stature, mind, ideas, generousity, heart among various other 

>>Chronos: None of that!

Ricia made a face at the phone and went to get ready for 

"Okay. Now if we combine chrotons and electrons in a steady flux what 
will be the result?" 

>>All: Crap blows up.

Ricia said to the group of college students 
sitting in front of her. They stared at her like deer caught in 

>>Thompson: So she shot them...the end.

Ricia sighed. Thank Chronos it was Friday. 

>>Chronos:'re welcome.
>>Indiglo: Why is she thanking you??
>>Chronos: I don't know.

She looked at 
the clock. Five minutes to go. 

>>Chronos: Til the bomb went off.

"Okay, I'm tired, you're tired, just 
read the chapter next time, okay?" Students mumbled and nodded and 
filed out of the room" Ricia flopped down on her chair and stared at 
her ceiling. She didn't hear the door open.

>>Thompson: She didn't see the shadow looming across her til it was
too late! With a horrifying snarl the killer...
>>Indiglo: Thompson! This is our mother!
>>Thompson: Oh yeah...sorry.

"Ah. Professor Fedora. Slacking off I see."

Groan. Not him. Not now. Ricia kept her eyes glued to the ceiling on 
the off chance he'd think she was dead.

>>Indiglo: Well she is...
>>Chronos: Not in this fic.

"Professor Fedora!!!"


"Yes Dean? May I help you?", Ricia asked in a polite tone.

>>Thompson: I know that tone. It's the one she used to get when she
wanted me to take out the garbage or face the consequences. Like
having my spine ripped out.

The Dean scowled. His opinion of Ricia Fedora was a well broadcasted.

>>Chronos: A well broadcasted what?
He thought she was arrogant and didn't know her place. Mostly he 
thought chronology was a waste of time science. This was because he 
couldn't profit from it. 

>>Thompson: Dean Tightbill is a Ferengi!

He had tried threatened to cut off her 

>>Indiglo: And the English language dies a horrible death.

but she seemed not to care one way or the other. Infuriating 

"Fedora, your class ends at 4:45, not 4:40!", he yelled at her. He 
didn't really care when she let her students out. He just needed a 
reason to chew her out.

>>Indiglo: Tightbill are you my new daddy?
>>Thompson: Oh don't even joke about that!

Ricia looked at him like he was a three year old. 

>>Chronos: Patted him on the head and gave him a lolly.
>>Thompson and Indiglo: Lolly lolly lolly get your adverbs here...

"I'll try to 
remember that. Now if you're quite done, I have a date."

>>Indiglo: And a raisin.

"With who?"

"With me."

The dean turned and gawked. Standing in the door was 

>>Indiglo: Ken Ichijouji?
>>Chronos: Now don't you start!

a elder duck. 
His hair had long gone gray, but his eyes still possessed most of 
their youthful sparkle. The dean made some strange straggled noises 
and walked out. The second he left Ricia started to laugh. "Oh Ian! 
That was priceless! His face!" Ian Featherton, her father's eldest 
friend and Ricia's honorary uncle 

>>Thompson: Wait! I thought Uncle Ian was Grandpa Jakob's lo...
>>Chronos: Stop! Stop right now! Do not pass Go and do not collect

chuckled, "He had it coming. Course 
now the rumors will fly"

Ricia shrugged. "Let them. Nobody respects me around here anyway."

Ian smiled sadly at her and placed a hand on her 

>>Thompson: ...neck.

shoulder. "C'mon 
let's go to dinner."

Ian wiped his face with his napkin "So Ricia, how are you doing these 

Ricia flinched. Here it came.

>>Indiglo: His proposal.
>>Thompson: You are just living on Planet Sick today aren't you?

"Any men in your mind?"


>>Chronos: You win a prize.

Ricia blushed and fidgeted. "Um...Uncle Ian I don't have time for 
that. I've got my students and my studies."

>>Thompson: And a desperate need to buy funiture.

"Ricia, this is important. You know a new generation of Fedoras must 
be born! You're the last one..."

Ricia cut him off. 

>> the knees.

"I know that! Don't you think I realize the 
importance of having a kid? Dad told me all the stories and explained 
what will happen if I don't continue the bloodline!" Ricia closed her 
eyes and saw her father standing there. 

>>All: GAH!
>>Indiglo: That can't be normal.

"Now, Bright Eyes, 

>>Thompson: Like the Pound Puppy?

our family 
is very important. We need to keep time going forward. Our 
pocketwatch will keep everything going steady. And our bloodline 
will go on forever. Right my daughter? But don't worry. You have all 
the time in the world. All the time in the world."

>>Indiglo: Grandpa Jakob was kind of creepy.

"Ricia? Ricia, are you alright?" Ian stared at her with concern.

Ricia's eyes flew 


open and she looked in shock at Ian. "I'm...I'm 
fine. I'm fine. I need to go. I've got papers to grade." She 
stumbled out of her chair and fled the restaurant.

>>Indiglo: While Uncle Ian just sat there doing nothing.

She walked to her apartment, mind spinning. Suddenly a gang of thugs 
surrounded her. Ricia backed away a little. Where was that stupid 
vigalante Darkwing Duck when you needed him. Probably stopping 
Quackerjack from taking over the city with exploding Super-balls or 

>>Thompson: I wonder if Uncle Quackerjack ever actually did that.

The leader of the gang spoke up.

"Hello, beautiful. Nice night isn't it? Now be a good little girl 
and give us your money."

>>Chronos: I can assure you that calling Ricia 'little girl' is both
wrong and highly insulting.

Little girl? She was probably five years his senior. She reached 
into her jacket pocket. 

>>Indiglo: But they thought she was reaching for a gun so they shot
>>Thompson: Nice one.

She never carried a purse if she could help 
it. "I don't have money but I do have this." She pulled out a gold 
pocketwatch. The thugs took a step towards her then there was a 
green flash. 

>>Chronos: No no, The Flash is red! The Hulk is green.

Ricia looked tiredly at the now frozen thugs. She shook 
her head. Not frozen just ahead of the rest of time. 

>>Indiglo: Did you ever really understand that whole out of phase
>>Thompson: No not really.

She chuckled as 
a cloud of blue smoke appeared.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the rusty gears that 
stop your clock! I am Darkwing Duck!!!"

Ricia nodded respectfully. "Mister Darkwing." She swept a hand 
towards the criminals. "They're all yours." 

>>Chronos: But for the time being...she's all yours.
>>Indiglo: Cut out the obscure refs Chronos!

She walked away leaving 
a baffled Darkwing to collect the seemingly imobile thieves.

End of Part One

>>Thompson: Uh that
>>Indiglo: Short.
>>Chronos: We'll be getting to Part Two soon

The Pride and The Shame Part II 

>>Chronos: Apparently very soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own Darkwing Duck or any character from that 
show Disney does. However Ricia, Jakob, Calinda and Ian are mine 
mine mine.

>>Thompson: Well aren't we possessive?	

Thanks to: Lily for telling me the name of the Dean (hope you like 
the end)

Ricia slammed her apartment door. 

>>Thompson and Indi: Hey! Were you raised in a barn??

She didn't need this. She wanted a 
normal life. She wanted everyone to leave her alone. She took out 
the gold pocketwatch and placed in on the table. It mocked her. "Ha 
ha! Reluctant Time Keeper! I own you! I own you!", 

>>Indiglo: Hey Thompson, does the watch ever talk to you?
>>Thompson: No...but then the toasters don't either.

it seemed to say. 
Ricia rubbed her eyes tiredly. She walked to her bedroom and sat at 
her desk. It was a big English desk that had been passed from one 
Fedora to the next. Family was so important. 

>>Chronos: Oh yeah real important. Just ask Richard.
>>Indiglo: Ouch.

Ricia reached up and 
took off her black fedora, another gift from her father. She smiled 
remembering what a fit her mother had had when her father presented 
Ricia with the old hat. 

>>Thompson: Why? She has every right to it! It's the crown of the

Her mother had insisted in wasn't lady-like 
for a young girl to wear men's clothing. Ricia laughed out loud and 
glanced over at a full length mirror. Dressed in a man's business 
suit completely with tie, her mother would have spazzed out 
completely if she could see her daughter now. Ricia preferred the 
style of old fashioned suits to the modern "power woman" suits.

>>Indiglo: My mother is a cross-dressing keeper of time today on
Jerry Springer.

Her eyes swept up 

>>Chronos:...the room.

and down. She was pretty enough in a strange sort 
of way. Brown and black hair, a bizarre combination of her mother 
and father's hair colors. 

>>Chronos: A genetic impossibility, how nice.

Green eyes which stood out intensely from 
her purple feathers. Ah...the purple feathers, a true enigma. Her 
mother's feathers had been white and her father's a cream color. 
Rumors spread like wild fire when Ricia was born. The tawdry affair 
of Calinda Fedora 

>>Indiglo: Calinda Silverton, they weren't married.

was all that was talked about for months. 
Professor Jakob Fedora, former head of the Chronology Department at 
SCU, just smiled and shrugged. He knew Ricia was his blood. The 
proof was in the 


watch. Only a one of Fedora blood could touch the 
watch and Ricia had clasped the watch soon after she was born. "A 
true born Time Keeper" her father had insisted.

Now, he and her mother were dead. Ripped away from her violently in 
a flash of revenge and murder. 

>>Thompson: Sounds like an episode of Mystery.

Now all that remained of the Fedora 
Time Keepers was a 32 year old female college professor. Ricia 
tossed the hat into her closet. 

>>Indiglo: Mom wouldn't throw that hat. She'd hang it lovingly

She could feel the pressure pounding 
in her brain. It wasn't as easy as everyone seemed to think it was. 
Men didn't like woman 

>> most of Ricia's other fics.
>>Thompson: Wait. Woman? Which woman?
>>Indiglo: Mom, apparently.

like her. She was intelligent and eccentric. 
Most of her dates booked when they saw the clocks. At SCU she'd been 
deemed a nasty wench 

>>Thompson: *pirate voice* Argh you brazen wench! No need to expose
your superstructure.
>>Indiglo: No more....
>>Thompson: Wire hangers?
>>Indiglo: Obscure refs!

who considered herself above men, so it can be 
guessed how popular she was there. 

Ricia picked up a magazine laying on the floor. It had opened to the 
Personals section. 

>>Chronos: How so very convenient. there was an idea. Ricia picked up a

>>Indiglo: Thompson no!
pen and began to write:

			Intelligent, strong-willed SFD
                        ISO intelligent, patient man
			with a good sense of humor
			Species not important.

>>Indiglo: That'd be one expensive ad.

Ricia stared at the ad she had written. She shrugged. Why not? She 
reached for the phone to call her ad in.


Ricia sighed as Dean Tightbill continued to blab on about things 
that didn't interest her in the slightest. 

"So blah blah blah fired blah blah blah."

>>Thompson: Hey just like when she yelled at us.


>>Thompson: Stop. Hammer Time!

What was that?

"So blah blah blah fired blah blah blah."

Fired? Fired?

"Who's fired?" , Ricia asked shocked.

Dean Tightbill smirked. "Why, you Miss Fedora. We're scrapping your 
whole department. 

>>Indiglo: Can he actually do that? I mean wouldn't the students
>>Thompson: You mean the students who suddenly don't have to go to
>>Indiglo: Uh...yeah. Never mind.

This college will finally be rid of your whole 
cursed family!"

>>Thompson: How'd he know we're cursed?
>>Chronos: You are not cursed!

Ricia shook with rage. "You can't do this! I have students! What 
about them? What about their studies?"

He shrugged. "They'll have to find other courses of study. I've 
finally got you Fedora! Your jobless and your joke science has been 
wiped from Saint Canard University! And there is nothing you can do 
about any of this. I win Fedora."

Ricia's eyes narrowed as reached for her pocketwatch. "Oh....really?"

>>Indiglo: And Mom opens up a big can of whoop-ass on Deany boy.

Ricia cleaned out the desk in her office. She looked at the 
portraits hanging on the wall. Her great-grandfather, her 
grandfather and her father. Three generations of Chronology 
professors. Her portrait was supposed to be added when she got 

>>Chronos: Hello plothole!
>>Indiglo: Huh?
>>Thompson:'d Nicholas get tenure? He was only 29 when he
died! And how did Jakob for that matter??
>>Indiglo: Don't think. Just read.

She wiped her eyes. She'd have to remember to ask Ian to put 
the paintings somewhere safe or Tightbill was likely to have a 
bonfire when he woke up.

>>Thompson: Woke up? My, isn't Mother violent?

She walked across the campus. She glanced over at a group of 
students laughing hysterically. The source of their amusement was 
what appeared to be a statue of the Dean stripped to his underwear.

>>All: Kinky.
Ricia smiled softly. "You lose Tightbill", she whispered.

>>Chronos: Bwahahahahahahaha!
>>Indiglo: Don't do that!

End Part II

>>Thompson: Off to Part Trowa.

The Pride and the Shame Part III 
Disclaimer: If it ain't Disney's it's mine.

>>Chronos: Everything that doesn't belong to Disney belongs to Ricia??
>>Indiglo: Wow...we should've been richer.

Thanks: Aero for threatening my life if I didn't write the next part.

Tick tick tick.

>>All: *explosion noises*

Ricia stared at the wall.

Tick tick tick.

She didn't blink or move a muscle.

>>Indiglo: Mom shot herself with the watch again.


Every clock chimed the hour. Hundreds upon hundreds of clocks ringing
and clanging.

>>Thompson: You'd think the neighbors would complain about that.

"Your joke science has been wiped from Saint Canard University"

"Joke science"

"Joke science"

Ringing and clanging

"You're the last one Ricia"

"You're the last!"

"The last"

Ringing and clanging

"All the time in the world"

"All the time in the world"

>>Thompson: I think Mother's having one of her episodes.


>> everything.




Then it stopped

>>Chronos:...making sense.
>>Thompson: When did it start?

Tick tick tick

"So you see that's how I won the Hyzine Award for chicken farming."

>>All: Um....yeah.

Ricia nodded. Her personal ad had worked. Sort of. She had arranged 
a date with a Mister Quackren. So far he was boring, rude and 

>>Thompson: Hey Uncle Darkwing!
>>Indiglo: Thompson! It says his name is Mr Quakren!
>>Thompson: Still funny.

She smiled sweetly and said, "That's wonderful. Now if 
you'll excuse me I have to go before I beat your head in with the 
napkin holder. 

>>Chronos: I think somebody needs to find their happy place.

Good night."

Ricia walked out of the restaurant. She seemed to be doing that alot 
lately. She was sick of people. Maybe she'd just become a hermit and 
live in a cave. Normal flow of time be damned. Chaos sounded kind of 

>>Indiglo: He's not. Trust me.

She found her self walking past the old lighthouse. 

>>Thompson: As opposed to what? The new lighthouse?

Now there was 
the perfect place. Great view. Nobody to bug you. Really good 
reading light.

>>Indiglo: Really good blinding moth attracting reading light.

"Look out!"



>>Chronos: Don't they make Slip n' Slide?
>>Indiglo: No that's WHAMMO!

Ricia was sprawled on the ground. Next to her was a slightly dented 

>>Thompson: I've figured it out! It was Miss Peacock in the
lighthouse with the toaster!

"Are you alright?" 

Ricia groaned. "I think so."

The stranger looked annoyed. "Not you! The toaster!"

>>Indiglo: Dad!

Ricia stared at him. He was a rat type creature, dressed in a 
strange jumpsuit with a battery on his back and a plug hat on his 

>>Thompson: I'd like to take this oppurtunity to thank the Masters I
did not inherit my father's fashion sense.

She recognized him from the papers. Megavolt.

When confronted with a toaster wielding super villian, the sensible 
course is to scream and run.

>>Chronos: So of course your mother married him.

Ricia stood up and glared at him. "That toaster nearly gave me a 

Megavolt looked at her. "You put a big dent in him"

"He started it!"

"Did not"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

>>Chronos: Ah..young love.

"Did too...I'm not having this conversation. Look I want an apology 
and I want one right now!"

"From the toaster?"

"I don't care who apologizes! I'm in pain and I just got fired and 
had a really bad date! I'm in a very bad mood."

Megavolt considered this, at least he looked like he was considerng 
it. He could have been thinking about bagels. 

>>Thompson: Knowing Father, he was trying to remember how he'd gotten
down there to begin with.

At last he looked at 
her. "You're hurt?"

Ricia blew up. 

>>All: Ew.

"No! I always bleed from my forehead!" 

>>Indiglo: Well that's not good. You should see somebody about that.

He backed away a little. She continued to seethe at him til the 
dizziness took over and she collasped.

She awoke in a small room, her head bandaged. 

>>Thompson:...with electrodes connecting her to a machine.
>>Indiglo: Well it is Dad.

It took her a second 
to realize she was inside the lighthouse. Megavolt sat staring at her.

>>Chronos:...breathing funny.
>>Thompson and Indi: Chronos!

"Um...are you okay?"

Ricia looked warily at him. 

>>Indiglo: (Ricia) Why do I have all these wires attached to me? And
why do you keep giggling?

"Who? Me or the toaster?"


"I've got a headache but I'm okay."

"He's sorry. The toaster is sorry"

Ricia's facial expression softened. 

>>Thompson: And dripped off.

"How is he? Is he okay?"

Megavolt looked at her in surprise. "You really care?"

>>Chronos: No not especially.

"Of course. I know how it is. I have...clocks."



Ricia closed her eyes. 

>>Indiglo: And Grandpa Jakob was standing there, we read this part!

"Clocks. Hundreds of clocks. And I know all 
their voices and all their songs. Joy. Fear. Anger." She opened her 
eyes and gazed steadily at Megavolt. "So you see I understand such 

>>Chronos: Anybody else a little weirded out?

Megavolt just continued to stare at her. 

>>Thompson: No, but I am now.

She sighed and glanced at 
her pocketwatch.

"That's nice."

>>Chronos: You are so nice! And he's nice too! Isn't that nice?
>>Indiglo: Obscure reference #5,430

Suddenly Ricia remembered she was with a supervillian. She clutched 
her watch to her. "You can't have it! You can't touch it!"

>>Thompson: I think we've all created our own punchlines for that...let's move on.

Megavolt tilted his head. "Why?"

Ricia blinked. "Um......" Truth be told she had no idea. Her father 
had said something terrible would happen if somebody besides a 
Fedora touched the watch. 

>>Indiglo: What does happen?
>>Chronos: Ever see Raiders of the Lost Ark?
>>Indiglo: Oh...yuck.

"You can't touch the watch cause you're 
not a Fedora."

Megavolt blinked in confusion. "I can't touch the watch cause I'm 
not a hat?"

>>Thompson: You knew that joke was coming.

Ricia laughed in spite of herself. "No! My last name is Fedora. Only 
people with Fedora blood can touch the Time Keeper's pocketwatch."

Megavolt just nodded and wandered off to check on Mr. Toaster.

>>Chronos: Mr Coffee's eccentric cousin.

Ricia sat in the bed looking around her. The room was filled with 
odds and ends, most of which we're a complete mystery to her. 

>>Thompson: I understand completely.

She got up and walked over to something that looked like it was made of 
coat hangers and an old washing machine. 

>>All: Bob!

She reached over to press 
the button. Suddenly a gloved hand grabbed hers. 

>>Indiglo: Yamato Ishida!
>>Chronos: No.
>>Indiglo: Koushiro Izumi?
>>Chronos: *sigh*

"Don't", Megavolt commanded. 

>>Thompson: Well that's just wrong.

Ricia started in surprise. "I...I didn't mean...I was
How's the toaster?"

"He wants to see you."

>> a tub of lime jello.
>>Thompson: You are paying for my therapy Chronos!

"Lead the way"

Ricia and Megavolt spent a good part of the day talking to different 
household appliances. 

>>Indiglo: Only with our parents does that sentence not seem strange.

Megavolt introduced her to the blender. She 
was a willful creature who did what she liked. Ricia admitted it 
reminded her of her own blender. Megavolt assured her most blenders 
were like that. The dryer was a old and wise machine who'd seen many 
things. Ricia listens enraptured by his tales of lights and darks, 
of delicates and permanant press. She listened with pity as he 
sobbed out his story of a shrunken sweater.

>>Indiglo: I've heard that story about a billions times. He never
shuts up about it! 

Just as Megavolt was introducing the desklamp Ricia looked at her 
watch and gasped. "I have to go! My clocks need to be wound!"

Megavolt looked disappointed. "Do you have to?"

Ricia nodded pulling on her coat. "They need to be wound. Some of 
them anyway. A few are self-winding...some are digital. But I need 
to get home. Thank you for everything." She patted the toaster 
gently, quickly hugged Megavolt and ran out the door.

>>Chronos: And then just kept running as far as her legs could carry
>>Thompson: Jealous much, Chronos?

Megavolt's eyes widened as he stared at the closed door.

Then he smiled.

Ricia fumbled for her keys. A eerie silence met her ears. 

>>Indiglo: And then everything exploded and everybody died. The end.

She was  late but...not all the clocks should have stopped. She
opened the door and saw the reason for the silence.

>>Thompson: She was in an episode of the Twilight Zone.

The mess was incredible. 

>>Indiglo: Hey look Thompson! She's in your room.
>>Thompson: Shut up.

Clock parts strewn all over the place, 
splintered wood and broken glass littered the carpet. 

>>Chronos: And written in blood across the wall was one word.
>>Thompson and Indi: Custard.

Ricia picked her way through it desperately looking for something
intact. Everything was destroyed.

Trying to keep herself from screaming she reached for the phone to 
called the police.

>>Indiglo: Tense means little in this fic, I see.

End Part III

>>Chronos: And now the last part.
>>Thompson: And the people rejoiced.
>>All: Yay.

The Pride and The Shame IV 
Disclaimer: Oh come all ye Disney
            Please don't go and sue me

>>All: Oh come ye, oh come ye to our torture fest.

*ahem* Now, the rest of the characters, Ricia, Ian, Jakob, Calinda 
and a new character are  mine.

Dedication: Anybody who responded to the last one. Renard and Aero 
esp. Oh and Sparky? 

>>Thompson: Doesn't Dad hate being called that?
>>Indiglo: No,no Aunt Sparky.
>>Thompson: Oh right.

I'm really sorry. There are many universes in 
fanfic world. Go for it.

"Oh my God. Oh my God."

>>Chronos: The Masters arent' God...though I think they think they


"My clocks. All my beautiful clocks."


Ricia ignored the cop. 

>>Indiglo:...and married a criminal. Huh.

She felt like her whole world had collapsed.

"Ma'am, we need to ask you some questions. 

>>Thompson: Does this uniform make my butt look big?
>>Indiglo: What's the capital of Nova Scotia.
>>Chronos: If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog
horns out of?

Was anything actually 

Ricia shook her head. "No, they just br-broke everything."

"Are you sure. I mean there were so many clocks. You wouldn't know--"

Ricia cut him off sharply. "I'd know!"

"Why would anyone come in your apartment to break clocks?"

>>Chronos: They didn't. They broke in to steal her funiture, got mad
when she didn't have any and broke all her clocks.

"Cause the lock on Timepieces R Us was too complicated! How the hell 
should I know?"

>>Thompson: Oooh..Mother said a bad word!

"Ma'am I understand how you feel but..."

"You understand?? You don't understand squat! When's the last time 
someone broke in your house and smashed your most precious 
possessions? Get the hell out of my apartment! Go do your job and 
leave me alone! I don't know who did this! If I knew I wouldn't need 


"GET OUT!!!"

>>Indiglo: Duck and cover! Mom's on the warpath!

The cop dashed out the door, which slammed behind him.

>>Thompson: Smart cop.

Ricia fell to her knees and sobbed. It was so quiet. So damn quiet.

Tick tick tick

>>Chronos: Flea flea flea

Ricia reached into her jacket and pulled out her pocketwatch. Crying 
she clutched it like a life preservor. 

>>Thompson: A what??

She reached over for the 
phone and dialed.


>>All: Hi!

"Uncle Ian?"

>>All: No.

"Ricia? Are you okay?"

"No...oh God. 

>>Chronos: We've covered this.

Uncle Ian they destroyed everything. My clocks!"

"What? No...I didn't think it would happen to you."

"What would happen? Ian do you know who did this?"

"Ricia I want you to hide! Go to a friend's house and stay there! We 
can't afford to lose you. Not now!"

"Why? What's..."

"Just do as I say!"

Ian hung up. 

>>Chronos: You know, Ian was usually more helpful then this.

Ricia stared at the phone. A friend's house? She didn't 
have any friends! None mentioning anyway. In the corner of her eye 
she spotted her toaster lying on the floor. She stared at it. "Oh 
don't be stupid! He's not going to hide me from...whatever it is 
Uncle Ian wants me to hide from." The toaster just continued to lie 
there." Ricia glared. "Fine! You win!" She walked out the door and 
headed towards the lighthouse.

>>Thompson: Mother is talking to the toaster that's sad.
>>Indiglo: *whacks Thompson*

Megavolt adjusted something in his latest invention. 

>>Chronos: It was an automatic cheese slicer combination back

He glanced up 
at his toaster. "No the pretty lady isn't coming back! Stop asking 
that." He stood up. "There now, my little one let's hear your first 
words." He pressed a button.

>>Indiglo: Frank?

Knock knock. 

>>Chronos: Who's there?
>>Thompson: Cargo
>>Chronos: Cargo who?
>>Thompson: Cargo beep beep

"Megavolt, are you in there?"

Megavolt stared in amazement at the new device. "You sound like 

>>Chronos: When did she tell him her name?
>>Thompson: Probably when the appliances were yammering on and on.


Megavolt spun 

>>Thompson:...around in circles, got dizzy and fell down.
>>Indiglo: Sounds like Dad.

toward the door surprised. He opened it to find a very 
distraught Ricia standing there.


She flung herself at him and hugged him tightly. 

>>All: Awwww.

"Oh Megs! They 
broke all my clocks. Uncle Ian said I should hide at a friends 
house ,but I don't have any friends except for you 

>>Thompson: I'd point out how sad that is but I think we've
figured that out.

and I was 
wondering if I could stay here! Just for a little while."

Ricia let go of Megavolt and looked at him pleadingly.


"Oh thank you!"

Ricia sat at Megavolt's table, toaster in her lap. 

>>Chronos: Lucky toaster.
>>Thompson and Indi: *look at Chronos strangely*
>>Chronos: What?

She had told 
Megavolt the whole story. Her voice only shook a few times.

Megavolt looked sadly at her. "Do you know who your Uncle Ian is 
going after?"

Ricia shook her head. "It probably has something to do with me being 
a Time Keeper."

Megavolt walked over to his latest invention. He reached for a 

>>Indiglo: But he was all out of orange juice.

"What's a Time Keeper?"

Ricia petted the toaster. "We keep time flowing forward. If the 
Fedoras die out chaos will result. There won't be anybody to control 
where time goes. Uncle Ian is worried I'll get killed I 

>> the home of a crazed supervillian.

Megavolt looked confused then looked over at Ricia."You're the last 

>>Thompson: No she's not! There's a sale of them at Wal-Mart.

Ricia looked down. "I am. I have no children. If I don't have one 
there won't be anybody to claim the title." For some reason 
mentioning her need for children made Ricia blush horribly. 
Thankfully Megavolt didn't seem to notice.


He smiled. "I'm glad."

Ricia blinked. "You're glad I have no children?"

"No...I'm glad you're here."

Ricia smiled. "I am too."

For awhile they said nothing to each other. Megavolt continued to 
work and Ricia stared off into space, petting the toaster gently.

"It's a couch."

>>Thompson and Indi: *scream*
>>Chronos: What?

"I'm aware of that thank you."

Ricia looked at the coach. 

>>Chronos: Which her fairy godmother made from a pumpkin.

It was a bizarre shade of orange. 

>>Chronos: Makes sense.

It looked like it wasn't so much created as thrown up.

Megavolt handed her a pillow and blanket. "Night!" He walked out of 
the room leaving Ricia to contemplate the coach 

>>Thompson: What happened to the couch?

some more.

A figure stared at the lighthouse. "Now Miss Fedora, you can't hide 
from Mranonak." He took a drag from his cigarette. "Soon I shall 
control the universe and time will be a hated distant memory." He 
flicked the cigarette into the bay and started towards the dark 

>>Thompson: Cigarette Smoking Man!
>>Indiglo: No...Mranonak.
>>Thompson: CSM's name is Mranonak?

Ricia sat on the coach 

>>Chronos:...and wondered where the couch went.

making a mental note to have it's builders 
killed. She suddenly heard a crash. She stood up. "Megavolt?"


"Er...Mr. Toaster?"

>>Thompson:'s Mr Toaster. He's come for you in your sleep.

Mranonak grabbed her from behind. 


She screamed and kicked him hard. 
He yelled and let go. She dashed across the room and pulled out her 

Megavolt dashed into the room. "Ricia? Are you...?" 

>>Thompson: a turtle?
>>Indiglo: afraid of the dark?
>>Chronos: or have you ever been a member of the communist party?

He looked at the 
newcomer. His hands crackled with electricity.

>>Indiglo: Cool, my dad's Emperor Palpatine!

Ricia raised her watch and pressed the button.

Now for those of you who were wondering, here's the answer to the 
question: "What happens when you combine electrons and chrotons in a 
steady flux?"

>>Chronos: Oh good it was really bugging me.


>>Thompson: That cereal is nasty!

Ricia was flung backwards and slammed agaist the wall. She slumped 
to the floor.

>>Chronos: Ricia's not having an easy time in this fic, is she?

"Ow...what happened?"

>>Thompson: Fall down. Go boom.

Megavolt was holding her trying to get her to wake up. "You're okay?"

Ricia let him help her up. "No, I'm not. What is it with you? 
Whenever I'm near you I get a head injury!"

Megavolt looked hurt. "I'm sorry."

Ricia suddenly felt guilty. "Never mind. Where's our uninvited 

Megavolt pointed over to a tied up and gagged canine.

>>Indiglo: Look! It's Clifford the Big Psycho Dog.

Ricia grabbed the gag and ripped it out of his mouth. "Talk. Now."

Mranonak glared at her. "Burn in hell, spawn of Chronos!"

>>Chronos: *horrified* Spawn? Excuse me? I do not have spawn you
worthless &%$#@&%#$@!

Megavolt shot a bolt of electricity his way. "Don't talk to her like 

>>Chronos: What about me??
>>Indiglo: Aw..we love you.

Ricia was touched by his defense of her.

The canine sneered. "What's the matter Fedora? Can't take care of 
yourself. Got to have your boyfriend do the dirty work." This made 
both Megavolt and Ricia blush. Ricia hit Mranonak across the face.

>>Chronos: Good.
>>Thompson: Let it go, Chronos.
"I can take fine care of myself! And he's not my boyfriend!" She 
turned to stare at Megavolt. "Are you?"

>>Indiglo: If you have to ask, then no.

Megavolt looked lost. "Um...I'm..."

Mranonak rolled his eyes. 

>>Chronos: Box cars! Yes!
>>Indiglo: Welcome back.

"Hello! Evil clock smashing guy here!"

Ricia stopped gazing at Megavolt and turned slowly towards the tied 
up intruder. "You...smashed the clocks! You broke friends!"

>>Thompson: Okay, if not for the whole Order thing..I'd so say I'm

"Oh how observent Fedora. You obviously didn't get your intelligence 
from your father."

"What do you know of my father?"

>>Indiglo: (Mranonak) I am your father.

"We had some dealings."

Ricia stared at him. She stared closely at him.

>>Chronos: She quite frankly weirded him out.

I control you now Time-Keeper 

Mom? Dad?

Now the order ends


>>Indiglo: Chaos was there?

" can't be. It can't be."

Megavolt touched her arm. "Ricia...?"

Ricia pulled away and looked scared.


>>Thompson:(Ricia) I'm in a horrible fanfic! 

Mranonak laughed. "You recognize me. I must tell you if I'd known 
you were there I'd have killed you too."

A deranged howl escaped Ricia's mouth as she lunged for his throat. 
"Die you son of a-"


>>Chronos: Son of a Ricia?
>>Thompson: What?
>>Chronos: Er...never mind.

Ricia turned and stared. She wasn't in the lighthouse anymore. She 
was in misty nothingness. 

>>Indiglo: deep.

Her father stood there.

"Daddy?" She ran and hugged him.

"There there. 

>>Chronos: No. Everywhere Everywhere probably.

I have a job for you. You must destroy Mranonak. Fire 
the watch twice."

"You told me I couldn't do that. It could have horrible 

"Mranonak is a threat to our way. 

>>Thompson:(Jakob) and he killed me, the bastard.

You need to claim your title of 
Time Keeper. Now go Bright Eyes. 

>>Indiglo:(Jakob) and take Cooler with you.

Your boyfriend is concerned about you."

"He's not..."

>>Thompson: Sane?
>>Indiglo: A good singer?
>>Chronos: Paul Newman?

Jakob Fedora laughed. "Sure he is! You can't lie to me Bright Eyes. 
You feel something for that man."

Ricia opened her mouth to respond but found herself back in the 

>>Indiglo: Teleportation takes some getting used to.

Megavolt was staring at her. 

>>Thompson: He seems to do that alot.

"Ricia? Are you alright?"

Ricia kissed him on the cheek. "Lovely." 

>>Chronos:(Ricia) I just keep seeing visions of my dead father
telling me to destroy a man's soul. No biggie.

She grinned at Mranonak. 
"Time to die!"

He laughed. "You can't kill me! Only one thing can kill me!"

Ricia continued to smile as she pulled out the watch. "Twice hit. 
Twice dead."

>>Indiglo: What does that mean?
>>Chronos: It means he'll be meeting Eric and Vincent soon.

For the first time, there was genuine fear in Mranonaks eyes.

There was two big flashes of green light.

>>Thompson: Man the neighbors have some goofy Christmas decorations.

The chair was empty. 

Ricia fell exhausted agaist Megavolt.

Megavolt put his arms around her. "Is he gone?"

>>Chronos: In more ways then you could imagine.

Ricia nodded and closed her eyes.


Ian Featherson gazed at Ricia over a cup of coffee. "A 

>>Thompson: Didn't that used to be Featherton?
>>Indiglo: What did I tell you about thinking?

Ricia shrugged. "Why not? Could be fun."

Ian looked at her. "I trust you Ricia." He turned and shook 
Megavolt's hand. "Welcome to the family.

>>Indiglo: We own your soul.

Ricia glared at him. "We're not getting married Uncle Ian!"

Uncle Ian grinned. "Yet."

Megavolt looked at Ricia. "What is he talking about Ricia?"

Ricia shrugged and smiled. "I have no clue Megs. Not a single clue." 
Her eyes sparkled as she held the electric clock he had presented to 
her ,and Megavolt seriously wondered what he had gotten himself into.

>>Chronos: Run while you still have the chance.
>>Indiglo: Hey!
>>Chronos: Oh...sorry.