MSTing of "A TaleSpin Wedding"

                             A TaleSpin Wedding

Through the anomaly that is the Sattelite of Love, the bots have 
been replaced by our TS crew, so are about to witness Ted ze Bear’s 
very first fic.  Joining them will be my most humble self, TV’s Joe.

Written By: Ted Bear

TaleSpin and all the characters herein are property of Disney. And 
The Bear just don't care, mon freire..

>>Kit:  I hope not…
>>Becky:  Don’t we have enough to deal with without the Disney 
          Company pulling this “we own you” crap?  Its like Disney 
          is the IRS…
My apologies to all my Spinner friends who were planning on doing 
something like this in their future fics for beating you to the punch, 

>>TV’S JOE:  Well, I was planning on writing something that really 
             stunk too, but I held myself back from doing so…

so to speak. But, here it is, the wedding to the century, as told 
(very briefly) 

>>Baloo:  Thank God for small miracles… By the way, this is complete 
>>Becky:  Hey, what do you know?  We finally agree on something!
>>TV”S JOE:  I thought the wedding of the century was Charles and 
             Di’s but Im sure this will be more extravagant…

in Kit's perspective… Enjoy!

>>Kit:  It would be better if it was just me, though.  Just my 

Kit took a nervous glance at the small clock on the nightstand while 

>>TV’S JOE:  Its magic powers grew and soon time stopped altogether.  Too bad this fic wont..

hastily brushing off any lint or other imperfection on his new black 

>>Becky:  Well, isn’t he a little James Bond Jr?.…

He wanted to look perfect today, 

>>Kit: (innocently)  But I look perfect every day…

because today… was *the big* day.

>>TV’S JOE:  The yearly JC Penny’s clearance sale…Woohoo!

He then looked over at Baloo, who stood in front of his mirror,

>>Becky:  as it shattered, unable to take the view…

in a tux identical to Kit's, also making sure everything looked 

>>TV’S JOE:  Because Becky’s newest plan was to finally sell the 
             dump and make some real cash… 
>>Baloo:  or it could be she’s just barking orders to impress 
          someone who’ll scam her…again…
>>Becky:  (gives him an irritated shove in the arm and an angry look)

The boy was still a little in disbelief that a time like this had 
finally come… 

>>Kit:  to take off for a weekend in Fort Lauderdale.
>>Becky:  when Baloo wasn’t attracting flies..
>>Baloo:  when Becky realized her true goal in life was to be a gym 

When he had first come to live at Higher for Hire,

>>Kit:  it was a blessing for all involved, we know.

never did he even dream that something like this would ever happen. 

>>Kit:  Im kind of busy thinking about other weekend related things..
        if you know what I mean, wink wink.

Yet, here he was, all dressed up, ready to go to the chapel… 

>>Becky:  Gee, let’s see, someone’s getting married.  There better 
          be catering.  Otherwise Baloo wouldn’t be able to respond 
          to anyone.  What am I saying?  His verbal stimuli will be 
          pretty much out the door once he hits the buffet table.. 
>>Baloo:  Hey, we’re supposed to be getting married.  Cut me some 
          slack…and then shoot me if I ever do this in real life..
>>Becky:  (happily) Can I just shoot you anyway?

And the expression on Baloo's face--- Kit couldn't remember the last 
time he'd seen him like this. 

>>Kit:  Yeah, I hate it when he eats Indian food…we live in the same 
        room you know..

There was a glowing happiness on the gray bear's continence, 

>>TV’S JOE:  Ugh!  Do we really have to go there?

almost trance-like. 

>>Becky:  I wish.  It would make things easier for me..
>>Baloo:  If it makes you feel any better, I go into a trance when 
          you start talking…

The pilot was usually so rugged, 

>>Baloo: ly handsome..

but Kit had to face it, at times like this, his Papa Bear was a 
hopeless romantic. 

>>Becky:  I believe I speak for everyone when I say (explodes into 

And if he was nervous, he was hiding it well. Kit, on the other 
hand, had a stomach full of butterflies, and he wasn't even the one 
getting married! 

>>Kit:  No, that’ll come next week on  This-Could-Never-Happen 
        Fantasy Theater..

Although, he did have a very important role: 

>>Kit:  the central character…

he could hardly believe it when they asked him, Kit Cloudkicker, to 
be the best man.

>>Kit:  But why?  I’m so used to playing that role!!

Him, the best man! He felt so honored, and was so proud he could 

>>TV’S JOE:  Luckily, he didn’t have the hummus, so he could hold it 

Both bears had every right to be a little nervous; they both knew 
that when the sun set today, 

>>TV’S JOE:  Becky would turn into a mermaid and this whole plot 
             would go down the crapper…

Neither one of them would ever be able to say that 

>>Baloo:  This was based on reality…

life would be exactly the same anymore. 

Baloo locked eyes with the cub through the mirror, 

>>TV’S JOE:  Why, are they having a dual?

and gave him a soft wink. 

>>TV’S JOE:  as opposed to a really loud one.

"You all set, kiddo?" He asked, adjusting Kit's collar and tie…

>>Kit:  (in strained voice)  Too tight!  Uhhhhh! 

Kit took a deep breath. 

>>Kit:  Relieved to be alive after Baloo’s complete incompetence 
        almost strangled me..

"Sure Baloo..." He said, closing his eyes. He tried to imagine what 
the day would be like… 

>>Becky:  but he didn’t have as much imagination as he thought so he 

how beautiful Becky would look in her wedding gown as she walked 
down the isle… 

>>TV’S JOE:  Why, because they were doing this at Louie’s??  

and how cute Molly would look in her little pink dress. 

>>TV’S JOE:  In the aisle.  That’s a-i-s-l-e.  

And that was another thing: Molly. Kit knew that after today, she'd 
have a great dad; 

>>TV’S JOE:  Because up until now she’d been nothing to him…(rolls 

if one thing Kit learned, is that

>>Becky:  you don’t need to know how to use commas properly…

great dads didn't have to have years experience in fatherhood to be 

>>Becky:  Or taste.  Or healthy eating patterns.  Or the good sense 
          that God gave a corn dog.. 
>>Baloo:  Oh, fine, just for that, remind me to never let you get 
          married to me..
>>Becky:  Oh, what an enormous loss!

This was true for him, and it would be with her, most certainly. 
"…I'm all set." He looked up at the gray bear with a reassuring smile.

>>TV’S JOE:  As opposed to his smile that says:  “Im going to kill 
             you! A ha ha ha ha!” 

"Good! We wouldn't want the best man to late now, would we?"

>>Kit:  It depends.  How do you late something??   

"I'm a little more concerned about getting the _groom_ there on 
time. That's my job!" Kit said, poking Baloo playfully in the gut.

>>Becky:   Which wasn’t the best idea; what with the hummus…

Each time Kit heard the term 'best man', it made him feel 

>>Kit:  that this fic was stealing precious seconds of his life as he 

all the more proud… And there was no way any groom was going to be 
late while _he_ was in charge of getting him there…

>>TV’S JOE:  (starts humming the Charles in Charge theme song for no 
              other reason than to pass time) 

Baloo chuckled. "So it is, kid. Okay, Li'l Britches, lead the 
way." And off they went, a new chapter in their lives to be begin.

>>Baloo:  That sentence made no sense; even to me.

Wildcat went with the two bears to the chapel.

>>TV’S JOE:  And then they sat down.  And then some music played.  
             And then everybody fell asleep. 

During the ceremony itself, Kit felt like he wanted nothing more 
than to 

>>Baloo:  hurl, if he’s anything like me…

stay lost in the moment forever… It was almost unreal,

>>Baloo:  Oh, it’s beyond that…

like a dream that he hated to awake from, 

>>TV’S JOE: (Baloo)  The kind where Im being fed sundaes by dancing 

where unknown anticipations mixed with comforting surrender. Kit 
looked around at the faces in the pews, 

>>Becky:  There’s a word that accurately describes this fic…Pew!

and on the bride and groom themselves. Nothing could describe the 
scene, or how he felt as he took it all in… 

>>Kit:  How about Zzzzzzzzzzzz….?

Then the realization hit him of why he was so awestruck--- because 
on this day, at this moment, life was a dream… and it was _real_.

>>TV’S JOE:  Huh?
>>Baloo:  Which was it; a dream or real?  Oh well…I don’t really care… 

As the minister spoke, Kit continued to gaze at the bride and groom… 

>>TV’S JOE:  Because they were necking in front of everyone and it 
             looked really weird..

Rebecca looked far more beautiful in her gown than Kit could have 
imagined. He took notice of Baloo's reaction when he saw her as 
well; you could have knocked the pilot over with a feather! 

>>Kit:  Gotta love that NyQuil! 

Kit was there when the couple-to-be first met, but in all honesty, 
he never thought this day would come back then… 

>>TV’S JOE:  Yeaaaaaah.  You already said that…
>>Kit:  But I never thought it would happen.  Because I just never 
        thought it would.  And since I didn’t think things would 
        turn out this way, I never thought…come to think of it I 
        guess I’m pretty clueless in this…

They had more of a boss to employee relationship back then, but soon 
their feelings evolved for one another, almost like they were 
destined to be together…

>>Becky: (shudders, rubs her shoulders)

Funny, Kit thought, how a boss falls in love with an employee, and 
vice versa… Not to mention how different these two were from each 
other! The bride, so refined and well mannered, and the groom, so… 
well, opposite… 

>>TV’S JOE:  Well, it worked for Elizabeth Hurley…

And these two were going to be man and wife? 

>>TV’S JOE:  Technically not the man part.  Shutting up now..

Kit chuckled lightly at the thought. There was going to be some fun 
in store in the future…

>>TV’S JOE:   Because he’d just joined the Star Trek fan club…(bad 
              pun. Moving right along…)

He had some doubts at first about the wedding, 

>>Kit:  Like was the cake being shaped like coconut half-shells 
        really in the best taste??

wondering where this would leave things, but then he figured that it 
would be for the best, and besides, they looked so damn happy 
together, how could he ever even think about not wanting this to 

>>Becky:  Because if it did it would break every standard I’ve ever 
          set for myself..

And as long as they were all happy, things were looking bright.

>>TV’S JOE:  Of course that could’ve been the comet headed directly 
             for the city…
>>Becky:  That would be less painful… 

At the end of the ceremony, it seemed to Kit that it had ended 

>>Baloo:  as several people were crushed by a mighty tidal wave..

almost as soon as it began… He was so enwrapped in the moment that 
he had lost all sense of time.

>>Kit:  I think I’m losing my mind just trying to follow this… 

A limousine awaited outside the chapel to take the newlyweds away on 
their honeymoon… Kit followed them out, along with the procession of 
other friends and family. They both waved at the boy before getting 
in, and he waved back, with a huge smile.

>>Kit:  (completely unenthusiastic) Tee hee…

Becky even blew him a kiss, making him blush a little…
As Kit watched the limo drive off into the distance, he couldn't 
help but become a little misty eyed, and even started to choke
up a bit. 

>>Kit:  Oh, I’m choking alright, Bleeh!

A friend handed him a hanky. "Thanks." Kit said softly, "They sure 
look happy, don't they? I mean, they're really in love."

"Yep, Li'l Britches, They sure do." Baloo answered. "I tell ya, 
Wildcat's one lucky guy." 

>>Becky:  WHAT?! 

The end.

>>Kit:  That’s disgusting!
>>Baloo: HA!
>>TV’S JOE:  Reality!  Here reality! (makes whistling sound) Where 
             are ya, boy!  

>>Becky:  (drives up to Ted in the limousine, snatches him off the 
           street in a startles shriek) Lets have a talk, shall we?!)
>>Ted:  What are those??
>>Becky:  Turnips and sandpaper.
>>Kit:  Paper clips and fire ants!
>>Baloo:  Honey and mustard.  And relish.
>>Becky:  Hot jalapeno chili peppers.(grins)
>>Kit:  A barrel full of starved barracudas!
>>Baloo:  William Shatner sings Moon River!
>>Becky:  The latest issue of Disney Adventures…

>>Ted:  No, not that!  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

The Real End

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